What do I say now- how do I top my adventure of a lifetime? Well…The answer is. I don’t. Well, at least not yet. But aren’t you a little curious what happened to me after the race?
Life- a whole hell of a lot of life!!! Makes that race in the Amazon seem easy. I have been facing different kinds of challenges. I have felt like I have nothing to say- or who will even want to read it. But I have decided – now is the time.
I don’t know if any of you have heard of it- but there is this thing- called the Coronavirus? I am sure no one knows what I am talking about… But this has given me that time to get caught up on things- like blogging. So here I am. I will leave talk of the Coronavirus for another day.
On my way home from Peru my Dad literally died while I was on the phone with him. We thought he had just passed out- which was terrifying to be on the phone across the world and hearing my Mom and sister freaking out and not knowing what was happening. As it turned out his heart had stopped several times- but being the fighter he was- he managed to come back to us. But this was the beginning of the end. He would pass away 6 weeks later just a few days before Christmas.
Losing my Dad was a huge loss to me. My Mom and I had been my Dad’s primary care providers for the past couple of years. So- I was extra close to him. Losing my Dad- made me all the more aware of how different my life is now. As I walked away from my Dad’s grave I realized just how alone I am in this world. My sister’s and brother all walked away with their families supporting them. But I had divorced my husband a few months earlier and was alone. (My daughter had mid terms at college and could not come)- So I quietly mourned alone. This is NOT a self pity trip- My point is- things just didn’t go according to plan. As is often the case. And honestly, it was really hard. In the course of a year, I lost the two most important men in my life.
What I learned from this is- As much as I thought I was done Grieving my divorce- I wasn’t. I don’t want to be with my ex husband. Ending the marriage was a very good decision. But at times like this when you would normally have relied on the love and support from your partner- it is hard to be alone. It’s okay to miss that support- but if you look around you- you will find you have friends and family that are there for you. I know I have! A huge shout out to all of my peeps who continue to love me- and make me realize that although this isn’t the life I had planned- it is good and I am blessed! And most importantly I am not alone.