Mind over body

I am someone who is strong willed and I tend to believe that the mind can push you to accomplish anything. But is it always enough? When is it time to throw in the towel and say- I just can’t do this?

As I mentioned in my last post I have recently started working at Amazon. It is kicking my butt! Everyday I push through and the mind has helped me make it through the days- I just dig in and do it. But today- my body won the battle. I am really beginning to question if I can actually do this.

Me saying I have this at the beginning of a day at work!

My muscles are recovering more each day. So it is not a matter of strength. I am strong enough to do the job. But is my health good enough to do it? I am starting to face my body actually interfering with my ability to perform my job. And this is extremely frustrating.

The doctors had suspected that I might have the beginnings of Rheumatoid Arthritis. But as it didn’t interfere with my everyday life we didn’t need to do anything for it. I actually forgot this was an issue- I tend to remember it during the cold weather when it flares up. It is one of the reasons that I fantasize about moving to Hawaii. That and the Ocean- oh and my daughter lives there. And did I mention they have Sea turtles? Oh- I digress…

Back to the topic at hand! Yesterday by the end of my shift my hands hurt so bad- I could barely grasp the items. The pain as I placed even a fingertip on the buttons was excruciating. But it was my last two hours- that it really kicked in. I just used mind over body to make it through the day. And just like every other day I was able to.

Today was different. Unlike the other days when I woke up refreshed and as the day progressed the pain would kick in. No- today I woke up and my hands were throbbing. I started off the day with the intense pain in my hands. I was working minute by minute- humming songs to get me through. But it was awful. I discovered there was a vending machine that you can get Tylenol from. Praise god! After the Tylenol kicked in the pain subsided marginally. I got new hope that I could do this. After another hour the pain was so intense. I had sharp shooting pain going up my arm from my hands. I just kept telling myself you can do this. You have to do this. Keep going Sarah!

My sore swollen hand! This is after being home and resting it for 5 hours

But then that voice of everyone I know crept in. It was telling me to “Please listen to your body!” And I realized I just couldn’t keep going. I am in this for the long haul- and if I blow out my hands then I will be screwed! So I went home early. And surprisingly- I Had accrued enough sick time and personal time last week to cover going home the 4 1/2 hours early. This will keep it from affecting my attendance.

Tomorrow is a new day. Fingers crossed that I will wake up pain free. I am only working 5 hours tomorrow. I can do that! Next week I may have to not aim at the 60 hours. I may just aim at 50 hours. I am fortunate to be able to pick my shifts.

It is not a choice- I must do this. So I am determined to get up tomorrow and make it through the day.

I do love to hear from you! Please scroll down to the bottom!


  1. Dialing it back would be good. The body adapts, but only if properly rested. I’m feeling your pain as you describe it in succinct detail. “Just touching a button” wow, ouch. I wish you peace and recovery.


      1. Sarah, I’m crying for you. I’m glad you went home early. I certainly hope the rest helps your poor hands. ❤️


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s