Grief is a crazy thing. After we experience a loss you never know when the next wave of grief will hit. This week I have been missing my dog Boomer more than normal.
The weirdest thing triggered this round of emotion. I looked across the room and spotted Jack’s harness. I suddenly remembered, how Boomer wanted to keep his harness on; when he was euthanized. I found myself frantically pulling up pictures of him. Which isn’t hard- I have a ton. I was surprised how such a little thing triggered me.
I find myself re-experiencing the intense sadness from my loss. I am on short term disability- and I have been thinking how much he would have loved having me home all day. He never left my side. When I went to work, he would loyally be watching out the window. It took me a long time, after he died, to clean the nose marks off my window. I couldn’t bear to get rid of the reminder of him. I miss my boy.
The loss of Boomer would have always been sad for me. But the circumstances of his death were extra traumatic for me. (More details about Boomer) Although in the end it was his time. I think there might be a part of me that may never heal completely.
People might say- it’s just a dog. Boomer was not “just” a dog to me. He was my baby. I know all of you pet owners know what I am talking about. When I got divorced- Boomer was one of the few things I asked for.
I love Jack but it doesn’t take away my grief. Although Jack does his best to snuggle (when he is in the mood).
I think the fact that I have been sick is playing a role in my intense grief. When one is sick, it is natural to want to be around loved ones. I have been missing my Dad more too. I had a close connection with my Dad . Sometimes I can feel him here with me. I try to comfort myself with the thoughts, that although my Dad and Boomer have passed- they are here in spirit keeping me company. I don’t know if they are. But I like to think they come to visit.
Any loss involves some degree of grief. Here is an article by the Mayo Clinic on Coping with grief and preparing for reminders . Here is a article about the Stages of losing a pet. An article on Coping with traumatic deaths .
There is no right way to grieve. But when you are actively in it – be extra kind to yourself. Thanks for listening- it helped me to share this with you today.