As I adjust to my current health crisis. It occurs to me, that I just have to get a little more creative in my “fun.” I am someone who is constantly on the go- and I am never happier than when I go from one physical activity to the next. I like to maximize each and everyday.
I not only don’t have the energy to do the activities. I don’t have the physical strength to do them.
Over the weekend- I took the dog to a dog park and I brought a light weight portable stool, to sit on (close to the entrance). Jack gets a little freaked out by my sitting- it makes him want to get us safely home. Which is kind of good- because I am still really weak. I would rather go for hikes. But I do enjoy watching the people and dogs at the parks.
I then went for a drive to a U Pick berry farm nearby. I took one look at it- and realized- that was too ambitious! I hobbled my way from the handicapped parking space, to the farm store. I was really wishing I had grabbed my stool. My legs were really shaky. I actually almost asked the lady, in line in front of me, if I could go first; because I was struggling with the standing. I chose to stick to social norms and wait. I also contemplated skipping the purchase all together. I now understand why my Dad would sometimes stay in the car while we went in places.
In my brain I had added on a whole bunch of activities to my outing. Ones that I thought I could still do, in my weakened state. But I realized as I practically collapsed, when I made it back to the car. I just needed to go straight home. (after spending a few minutes recovering of course)
I wanted to go for a walk the other night. Instead, I grabbed some dinner- I will admit – I got Queso from Qdoba. I did bring my grain free chips. Not the best food for me. But I was craving it so badly- I couldn’t resist. (I did pay the price the next day). Anyway, I took my little picnic and drove to a spot overlooking the river and enjoyed watching people and the beautiful view.
I need to find more activities that I can do at home. I think maybe I need some art projects. I saw some painted rocks that a friend found. I thought to myself, maybe I should do that. And it would be fun to hide them for others to find as well. 😀
The other thing it made me realize, as much as I hope to recover there are no guarantees that I will recover fully. I am sure I will develop a better quality of life. My fun is not over. And, I am really glad that I have done all of the amazing things , that I have done in my life: Compete in the World’s Longest raft race in Peru, go on a 500 mile bike ride around Colorado, Run a half marathon, hike 14’ers, kayak with humpbacks in Canada, Compete in Dragon boat competitions, Paddle outrigger Canoe, do obstacle courses, go to climbing gyms, aerial yoga, travel, etc. I have lived each day fully. If I am not able to do all these things again. I will find ways to enjoy my life. I am grateful that I have all these great experiences.
As I type this- I realize, even if I don’t recover. I have had so many wonderful experiences. I am fortunate to have led such a full life. I am getting a little sappy. Typing this makes me a little emotional. I just realized how lucky I am.